Friday-Are you Kidding?

Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Colossians 3:17,18

I’m about to say some things that are not going to make people happy. The words that follow might make you want to never read another word I write. Some people are going to say I’m too narrow-minded. Too restrictive. Too legalistic. Too old fashioned. But, I’m going to ask you to be patient. To hang in there.

If we’ve learned anything recently about people, it’s that no one, and I mean no one wants to be told what to do. We all want to be free. Free to do whatever we want. Whenever we want. With whoever we want. And this freedom has no walls. No restrictions. No limits. There’s nothing that’s out of bounds. No sidelines. Heck, as a matter of fact, any and all limitations are only seen as something that cuts off our creativity. They are meant to enslave us.

We get to call the shots. To set the limits of right and wrong. And even that’s incorrect because there’s no such thing as right or wrong. Good or evil. No moral north or south. Each individual gets to make up their own rules. Their own right and wrong.

We’re living in what I call a “My Truth”[1] world. Not only does everyone get to make up their own rules, but then we have to follow them. They get to force their rules on everyone else. No one has the right to criticize or correct anyone.

So, when it comes to wives and husbands, how dare anyone tell the wife to submit to their husband. How dare they tell husbands to love their wives. Both are equally hard and harsh. They are restrictive and thrown out.

Wives. This is so old-fashioned. No one needs to submit to anyone. Each person stands on their own two feet. They get to make their own decisions. They don’t have to follow anyone. They get to make up their own rules. But it doesn’t stop there, they get to change their rules if and when they want. Submitting restricts my ability to be me. To become all that I can be. To be free. Submission is oh so 18th century.
Husbands. This is so old-fashioned. Why does anyone need to limit themselves and their relationships to just one person? If evolution teaches us anything, it’s that there’s nothing special about one male and one female. Playing the field can work just as well. If one male sea lion can live with 16 females[2], why can’t people? If lions can live together with three males and a dozen females[3], why not us?

Funny thing about submitting and loving – it’s exactly what we want from God. Maybe you’ve never thought about it like that. Or in exactly those words. But that’s who we want God to be towards us.

A Submitting God. We want God to do what we want him to do. In the way we want. When we want. We want him to bow down and do exactly what we want. What we think is best. What will make us happy. Give us the most pleasure.
A Loving God. We want God to shower us with affection. To make us feel loved and appreciated all the time. We want him to turn himself inside-out to bring us a life that’s full of happiness. To do everything and anything that’s the absolute best for us.

And that’s exactly who God is, God is both submitting and loving, but not in the way we think. God is a submitting God and a loving God. In Jesus Christ, God submitted. Did you ever think about it like that? As a young boy, he submitted to his parents[4]. He submitted himself to the Father[5]. He limited himself by emptying himself of all the rights and privileges of God when he came to earth as a man[6]. He also submitted himself to the scriptures[7].

In Jesus Christ, God is loving. He is love within himself[8]. He loves the whole world so much that he didn’t condemn the world but loved it[9]. He showed his love for us long before we loved him[10].

Here’s the “are you kidding me” questions. If God was willing to submit himself, why is it such a big ask for us to submit to him? To others? If God was willing to love us before we loved him, why is it such a big ask for us to love one another?

The short answer is that it isn’t a big ask. It’s an impossible ask. In ourselves, in our own power, we’ll never choose to submit ourselves to anyone or anything. We’ll never choose to love anyone who doesn’t first love us. And that’s the point. God submitted himself for us. God loved us. And he’s still doing them both today. So, why aren’t we responding to him?

Noodling Questions