Rather, he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.
Titus 1:8,9
We all had different parents, and they raised us with different sets of rules in their heads and hearts. Some were stern while others were gentile. Some were cold and remote while others were warm and fuzzy.
In my family, we were definitely in the first kind of parenting. There were a whole lot of things that we weren’t to do. And when we crossed the line, that line was quickly reinforced with a verbal warning and the immediate threat of a stronger, much more powerful reason not to keep doing it.
And that was OK. Both my parents came from large families where there was no room to step out of bounds. They both came from very poor families that hand all the pressure of wondering if there would be enough food for everyone that day or not. And there was the real possibility that they’d lose their house because they couldn’t afford it.
But no matter what kind of parents you had, or the parent you were, there’s one way that parenting types or styles are divided into.
Don’t do. This is where the parent finds a kid doing something wrong and they just want them to stop. Their approach is to just put up a stop sign in the life of the child to prevent them from going down the road they’re on. This is simple enough that everyone can understand. It’s also easy to reinforce. There’s no doubt if they’ve stopped or not.
Rather do. In this case, the parent finds the kid doing something wrong, but they take a two-step approach. Yes, they say stop, but they don’t stop there. Instead, they offer something different to do. They give an alternative, something else that’s both different and good. It’s both a negative (stop) and a positive (go.)
This is exactly what Paul’s telling Titus about picking elders for the young Christian churches. He’s just finished a list of the don’ts, things that eliminate people from leadership. But now, Paul goes in the other direction and lists the things that Titus would see in the lives of potential elders. All of these are the positive characteristics that everyone would see in the life of an elder.
· Hospitable. Has a special place in their heart and lives for strangers.
· Loves what is good. Wants nothing but the best for everyone.
· Self-controlled. Let’s the indwelling Holy Spirit direct what they do.
· Upright. Does what’s right so there’s no way to be found guilty.
· Holy. Willing to live based on who God is and what he wants.
· Disciplined. Has power over their life and the passing pleasures of this life.
I love this about God. He doesn’t just say “No.” “No.” “No.” He’s not some negative spirit that’s wants to jump up and down on us and our lives. He does something much better. He shows us what’s the right things to do. The right way to live. The right way to respond to him and his love in our daily lives.
And while the way that elders live their daily lives is really important, Paul’s not done. There’s this whole other part of life that Titus has to look at in the elders he’s going to appoint and train. Elders are also to be looked at and evaluated for what they teach and how they share this within the church and to people on the outside.
Hold firmly. Keep a tight grip on the faith so no one can rip your fingers away.
Has been taught. The truth of the gospel isn’t going to change.
Encourage others. Stand beside the people they teach.
Sound doctrine. The truth about Jesus brings about a healthy spiritual life.
Refute those who oppose it. There will always be people against them.
Whenever there are lists like this, there’s a danger of thinking that it’s a true/false question. Are they something that you can say yes or no to? Can we put a checkmark next to each one? Are there some that we just don’t have any abilities in? Or are there a few that we just don’t care about one way or the other?
But just like Paul and Titus, it’s not about having or not having all these. It’s more about growing in these areas of life. We’re to start with a seed and then to have it grow. We need to feed, weed, and water these different parts of our lives.
But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
2 Peter 3:18
We’re commanded to be presently and actively growing. Each and every day growth should be on our mind. On our hearts. On our to-do list of life. We need to make growth near the top of the priority list of our lives. And just in case you were wondering, there’s always going to be room for growth. As long as we’re breathing, there’s a chance to grow. To change. To become more and more like Jesus each and every day. That’s the biggest rather in the world.
Noodling Questions
Why does Paul spend so much time talking about elders?
How can elders live like this and yet still be growing in grace?
What daily decisions do we need to make to be constantly growing?
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